完整歌詞：

Lois:? It seems today that all you see ?

? Is violence in movies and sex on TV, ?

Peter: ? But where are those good old fashioned values ?

? On which we used to rely? ?

Brian: ? It used to be, a big time star ?

? Was elegant as Garbo or Hedy Lamarr, ?

Stewie: ? But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez— ?

? You want to curl up and die! ?

Chorus: ? Lucky there’s a Family Guy! ?

? Lucky there’s a man who positively can do ?

? All the things that make us ?

Stewie: ? Laugh and cry! ?

Chorus: ? He’s a Family Guy! ?

Lois: ? When I was young, the songs were fair, ?

? With Mr. Johnny Mathis and Sonny and Cher, ?

Peter: ? But now we get Justin Timber-homo. ?

Lois: ? Oh how’d it all go awry? ?

Chorus: ? So awry! ?

Brian: ? The classic films were works of art; ?

? The images were graceful; the stories were smart, ?

Stewie: ? But now we get Matrix Revolution ?

I’m sorry, I know this doesn’t rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski brothers thinking?

Chorus: ? Lucky there’s a Family Guy! ?

? Lucky there’s a fella sweeter than vanilla, ?

? Wholesome as a piece of ?

Stewie: ? Apple pie! ?

Chorus: ? He’s a Family Guy! ?

Lois: ? His smile’s a simple delight. ?

Chris: ? He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites. ?

Lois: Peter!

Meg: ? He bought me my cute little hat! ?

Brian: ? Yeah, we should have a talk about that. ?

Chorus: ? About that! ?

?And?his?hat! ?

{Instrumental}

Brian: ? He’s mastered the comedy arts. ?

Stewie: ? He says, “Look out Hiroshima,” then casually farts. ?

Lois: ? He’s loaded with sexy appeal. ?

Peter: ? And best of all my titties are real! ?

? Have a feel… ?

Brian: No, thank you.

Stewie: I gave at the office.

Lois: ? The Brady Bunch has got their Mike, ?

? And pretty Laura Petrie has Dickie van Dyke. ?

? But who around here could fill those loafers? ?

Chorus: ? Well, here’s a happy reply. ?

? Lucky there’s a Family Guy! ?

? Lucky there’s a man who positively can do ?

? All the things that make us ?

Stewie: ? Laugh and cry! ?

Chorus: ? He’s...a...Fam..ily...Guy! ?

? He’s...a...Fam...ily...Guy! ?