很多備考寫(xiě)作的小伙伴通常都這么認(rèn)為：字?jǐn)?shù)越多，分?jǐn)?shù)越高。這種觀點(diǎn)是錯(cuò)誤的。

結(jié)合范文，我們可以分析一下，一篇400詞未滿的獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作是如何拿到30分的滿分的。文題如下：

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.Which of these situations do you think is better?Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

有些年輕人想要盡早脫離父母獨(dú)立，其他年輕人更愿意和家人生活得更久一點(diǎn)。你認(rèn)為哪種情況更好？

開(kāi)頭段：

Every young adults will grow and live apart from their parents to form their own families. The age for those young adults to be independent depends on each person. Some people may have to live longer with their parents and some others may not. This essay will discuss the issue of independent life and living with their families for a longer time.

每個(gè)年輕人都會(huì)成長(zhǎng)，都會(huì)離開(kāi)他們的父母去組建他們自己的家庭。他們獨(dú)立的年紀(jì)因人而異。有的人也許需要和父母生活得更久，另外一些人也許不會(huì)。這篇文章會(huì)討論獨(dú)立生活以及和父母生活更長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的話題。

寫(xiě)法分析：

首句給出宏觀背景——每個(gè)年輕人最終都會(huì)獨(dú)立生活；

接著縮小背景——獨(dú)立的年紀(jì)因人而異。

進(jìn)一步細(xì)化——對(duì)“因人而異”的具體情況展開(kāi)說(shuō)明：Some people may have to live longer with their parents and some others may not. 呼應(yīng)文章題目（Task Response）。

末句承上啟下——This essay will discuss the issue of independent life and living with their families for a longer time. 通過(guò)該過(guò)渡句，保持了段落之間的連貫性。（連貫性同樣體現(xiàn)在：those young adults中通過(guò)代詞those呼應(yīng)前句中的Every young adults）

由大到小的層層遞進(jìn)符合考評(píng)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)漸進(jìn)性的要求。

語(yǔ)言表達(dá)參考：

live apart from... 和。。。分開(kāi)生活

form families v. 組成家庭

be independent on adj. 獨(dú)立于。。。 depend on 依靠，依賴，取決于

issue n. 話題，問(wèn)題（可替換things / problems...）

主體段1：

Most young adults prefer to have a separate or independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This is because they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But in fact many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they are actually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all. In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparation because competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that many University graduated students are unemployed. Therefore, they will not be able to support and fulfill their necessities.

大多數(shù)年輕人更傾向于盡早脫離他們的父母或者家庭開(kāi)始獨(dú)立的生活。因?yàn)樗麄兛释杂傻厝プ鲎约合胱龅氖虑?。然而事?shí)上他們中的許多人都失敗了。他們的失敗在情理之中因?yàn)樗麄儾](méi)有做好心理上的準(zhǔn)備。眾所周知，獨(dú)立生活需要很多的精力而且一點(diǎn)也不容易。在21世紀(jì)，因?yàn)槿找嬖鲩L(zhǎng)的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)壓力人們會(huì)需要更多的準(zhǔn)備。一項(xiàng)研究顯示許多大學(xué)畢業(yè)生沒(méi)有找到工作，因此，他們不能支持和滿足自己的生活基本需求。

寫(xiě)法分析：

本段選取立場(chǎng)之一（脫離父母獨(dú)立）進(jìn)行展開(kāi)，本質(zhì)上是對(duì)爭(zhēng)議部分的回應(yīng)，同時(shí)也是對(duì)于真正立場(chǎng)的鋪墊；內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)上都保持了完整的連貫性。

選擇（獨(dú)立生活）的出發(fā)點(diǎn)（渴望自由）——結(jié)果（大多數(shù)人失敗了）——原因（身體上準(zhǔn)備好了心理上沒(méi)有）——例證（社會(huì)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)更加激烈，大學(xué)生畢業(yè)即失業(yè)）——結(jié)論（缺乏養(yǎng)活自己的能力）

由果推因，再由因及果，體現(xiàn)了層次的漸進(jìn)性。

語(yǔ)言表達(dá)參考：

although引導(dǎo)的讓步狀語(yǔ)從句： although they are physically ready，

It作形式主語(yǔ)——It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all.?

prefer to 更喜歡，寧愿

separate adj. 單獨(dú)的，分開(kāi)的

as soon as possible 盡快，盡早

urge n. 強(qiáng)烈的欲望，迫切要求

mentally adv. 精神上，心理上

not at all 一點(diǎn)也不

rapidly adv. 迅速地，飛快地

observation n. 觀察，觀察報(bào)告

unemployed adj. 失業(yè)的

be able to 能夠

fulfill v. 實(shí)現(xiàn)

necessity n. 必需，必需品（復(fù)數(shù)：necessities）

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