搬運自：微信公眾號【評論搬一堆】（在原文基礎上添加了英語原文與排版調整）?

翻譯：Ryan-Chopin

校正：Lynn Liu

排版：Lynn Liu

Diplo, Sia, and Labrinth combine forces for an album of truly forgettable pop music that is too tired to be wired.

Diplo、Sia和Labrinth聯(lián)手打造了一張讓人能“左耳進右耳出”的流行音樂專輯，聽完后的疲憊使人麻木。

Pop is dead; here is its corpse; here is?Diplo?attempting to make the corpse dance. Diplo, for whatever reason, is centered as the main attraction of Labrinth,?Sia, and Diplo’s insane trio, whose initials just happen to spell out LSD. The first track on their self-titled album ends with a blaring announcer voice welcoming “people of earth, boys and girls, people of ages” to “the wonderful world of Labrinth, Sia, and Diploooooooooooo.” The vowel stretches for a solid six seconds. It’s the first of many grating miscalculations in an album conspicuously calibrated for radio play and sweaty basements. Who loves Diplo so much that they’re not annoyed by this shout? Who loves Diplo so much at all?

流行音樂已死；這張專輯就是它的尸體；而Diplo試圖讓尸體跳舞。無論出于什么原因，Diplo都是Labrinth, Sia和Diplo這瘋狂三重唱里當之無愧的吸睛之處，他們三人的首字母也恰好拼出了LSD。該同名專輯里的第一首歌以一位播音員響亮的聲音結束，他歡迎著“地球上的人們，男孩和女孩，不同年齡的人們”來到“Labrinth, Sia和Diploooooooooo（故意拉長音）的美妙世界”。該元音持續(xù)了整整六秒鐘，這可以算是這張專輯眾多嚴重誤判中的第一個了，且該專輯為了能在廣播中和燥熱地下室中播放也進行了準確的校正。得多么愛地菠蘿（Diplo），才會受得了這般叫嚷啊！到底有誰會那么愛地菠蘿？？

Enough people, apparently: LSD is Spotify’s 151st most-listened-to band in the world and they have even snagged a spot on?Now That’s What I Call Music! 69, a nice fact until you realize that not even LSD themselves call this music. One of their lead singles is “Audio,” a cloying tangle of onomatopoeia, booze, and droopy synths. “Make the bomb bomb beat, I’ll give you melody,” is a refrain that only gets worse as it scrapes your speakers nine times in three minutes; “We got audio,” Sia breathes as Diplo Diploes on. Audio is the only metric of success here, the only box that needs checking, and they are, at least, loud.

顯然，他們的聽眾也足夠多呢：LSD在Spotify全球收聽人數(shù)最多的樂隊中排名第151，他們甚至艱難地擠進了《Now That’s What I Call Music!69（對我而言那才叫音樂！第69集）》這一歐美音樂混雜集中，這個事實不假，但若是你發(fā)現(xiàn)甚至連LSD自己都不把這些東西叫做音樂時，這又算什么呢？他們的主打單曲之一? ? ? “Audio”，混雜了擬聲、催眠的調子和干巴巴的合成器音色，令人生厭。 “氣氛搞起來，我隨著你的節(jié)奏哼唱旋律，”（本文歌詞翻譯來源網(wǎng)易云音樂）這句副歌只會使這首歌變得更糟，因為它在三分鐘內把你的揚聲器刮擦了九次，刺耳無比；“我們開著音響，”這句歌詞伴著Sia的呼吸，切到了Diplo的“地菠蘿之聲”。此時此刻，你的音響響度才是衡量成功的唯一標準，他們的“音響（Audio這首歌）”才是唯一有毛病而需要檢查的東西，至少他們三個真的很吵。

Labrinth, Sia, and Diplo seem to only exist together for the listener to go, “Oh! Huh...” and press play. Instead of complementing each other, they cram every space of a song with noise. Labrinth, a UK singer and rapper who’s remained relatively unknown despite appearing on Nicki Minaj and Rihanna albums, oscillates between bland, soft vocals and self-important rasping. Diplo wedges thumps and loops into songs that would be better off without them, giving texture without substance. The tragedy of this odd mix is that we lose Sia. This isn’t the jagged vocals, the hidden eyes, the Sia that felt like something close to original. This is Diplo bastardizing female vocals until they’re barely distinctive, and then they just exist to fulfill the “woman crooning something in a pop song” part of the equation.

Labrinth, Sia和Diplo似乎只有在一起的時候才會讓聽眾感覺說：“嘔!嗖嘎……”然后按下播放鍵。他們沒有互補，而是用噪音填滿了一首歌的每一個音符。英國歌手兼說唱歌手Labrinth一直默默無聞，但他也曾分別出現(xiàn)在Nicki Minaj和Rihanna的專輯中。Diplo的楔子會砰砰作響，循環(huán)插進歌曲背景之中，如果沒有它們，效果會好一些，而現(xiàn)在的歌就讓人感覺沒有實質內容。這種奇怪組合的悲劇在于我們會失去對Sia的感覺。這不是關于Sia鋸齒狀的嗓音和隱藏的眼睛，或Sia那種原創(chuàng)新穎之感。這是Diplo對女歌手的貶低，讓人感覺她們幾乎沒有什么特別之處為止，且感覺她們的存在只是為了稍微滿足“女性也要在流行樂領域分一杯羹”這一平等觀念。

LSD sound like an algorithmic midden of pop music. There are melodramatic orchestra swells. There are gaudy basslines. There’s something suspiciously close to a xylophone. Honest-to-god handclaps speckle a track. The words “da dum dum dum” are intoned. LSD’s lyrics are asinine—repetition is what they’re after, as the songs whittle down your critical receptors and blanket you in great errors of language. Some choice snippets: “I’mma be the angel to your snow,” “You put the running into run,” “We got our champagne dreams in an endless drought.”

《LSD》聽起來就像各種流行音樂的算法的堆砌。有戲劇性的管弦樂隊的膨脹。有華麗的低音提琴。有個東西很像木琴。真誠的掌聲濺出了痕跡。發(fā)出“da dum dum dum”的音調。LSD的歌詞是愚蠢的——重復是他們追求的，因為歌曲會削弱你的批判感受器官，讓你陷入巨大的語言錯誤中。一些選擇片段:“I’mma be the angel to your snow,” “You put the running into run,” “We got our champagne dreams in an endless drought.”

If LSD were really trying to capitalize on popular music trends and lean into its “how do you do, fellow kids” core, their sound would be sadder. Sia would hurl some line about Xanax. Labrinth would adopt a Post Malone slur-croon. Diplo would let his synths slink instead of clunk.?Pop music isn’t fun anymore, not without at least a little nuance, and it’s jarring to go from LSD’s “Today’s Top Hits” neighbors—Billie Eilish, Juice WRLD, Twenty One Pilots—to inane lyrics about getting high and “l(fā)ove” without context or emotion.

如果LSD真的想把握流行音樂的流行趨勢，像“how do you do, fellow kids”的表情包那樣火，他們的聲音會編得更加悲傷。Sia會寫出一些帶有“鎮(zhèn)靜劑”的歌詞。Labrinth會采用Post Malone式充滿臟詞的唱調。Diplo會放開他的合成器，改用沉悶的金屬聲。流行音樂不再有趣，但也不是一點細微的差別都沒有。從LSD在“Today’s Top Hits”榜單上的好鄰居們——Billie Eilish, Juice WRLD, Twenty One Pilots——到無背景、無情感地描寫“性”和“愛”的空洞的歌詞，都能看出這樣的流行樂沒有和諧可言。

More than anything, this album is both tired and wired, like drinking Red Bull after a fifth Red Bull. Not even a?Lil Wayne?remix can yank it to life. He hops on gamely and recites nonsense like, “Molest you with intellectual,” and, “My love is so ambidextrous.” This is an obviously calculated album that comes across as thoughtless, a thrashing neon garble. Frat boys might enjoy chanting “ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-genius” at each other, but for everyone else just hit next on whatever playlist these songs end up on.

最重要的是，這張專輯讓人又疲憊又興奮，就像喝完五罐紅牛之后又喝了一罐。即使是Lil Wayne的混音版也不能讓專輯中的歌曲起死回生。他無畏大罵著，還說著諸如“用我的才華玩弄你”和“我可是個情場老手”之類的廢話。這張專輯顯然經(jīng)過精心的策劃，但對其想傳遞的感受卻沒有經(jīng)過深思熟慮，像是一堆擾人心弦的亂射的霓虹燈。兄弟會的男孩們可能喜歡互相高唱“ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-genius（才子）”，但對其他人來說，不管這些歌曲最終出現(xiàn)在哪個播放列表上，你只會點擊切換下一首歌。